Ask A Planner

It’s been a awhile since we’ve had the Ask-A-Planner question, so it is exciting to back in the saddle! This one comes from Asia, and is a question I dealt with for my own wedding.

 

Dear Sara,

My fiance and I are currently living overseas, but are moving back to the US soon. After we are settled, we will have a small wedding there with mostly family.

We want to have an engagement party while we are still overseas with our friends here, but I read on many web-sites you MUST invite everyone to the wedding that you invited to your engagement party.

Do you think that holds true if you live in one country and will get married in another?  We want to celebrate with our friends overseas while we are here, knowing that many of them wouldn’t be able to come to the wedding in the US anyway, nor do we want that large of a wedding.

Thank you! 

Newly Engaged in Asia 

 

Dear Newly Engaged,

First of all, congratulations!! This is such an exciting time!

You are already diving head long into one of the first challenges of planning a wedding– the guest list. This effects so much of the planning process (including additional parties!), and it one of the hardest parts. Additionally, there is not a lot of info out there for people in your situation (I know, because I looked for us too!) of living and planning in different cities, especially overseas.

Honestly, I think the rule of only inviting guests to parties that will be invited to the wedding is kind of a pain; It can fatigues your guests (I was a bridesmaid in a wedding that had different kinds of bridal showers every month leading up to the wedding. I was in college at the time— it was so expensive!!). And really— even people not in your situation ask this same question, so I’m kind of waiting for the day when this rule is abandoned.

But–even though I am all about bucking the norm, I think there will still be some traditionalist out there who might expect an invite to the wedding if they are invited to the other festivities. And you’d risk hurt their feelings– and no one wants that to happen.

In order to celebrate with your overseas friends and not confuse people, I’m wondering if you can get around “the rule” by calling the party something else. Like  ”A Celebration of our Union” (ok, the name needs work) or something that implies what it is, without saying the traditional term “engagement party” that will lead people to expect a wedding invitation  Since you won’t be having another party here after you are married there should be some way to convey to people that this is their chance to party it up wedding style with you and it’s all in the wording of the invite. (And maybe you can even wear a white sundress to the party!).

Readers, what do you think? What is the best way for dealing with this oppressive rule of invites?

You’re Engaged! Now What?

A good friend of mine just got engaged and I couldn’t be more excited for her. It’s such a wonderful and exciting time! You’ve got a wedding to plan, but it will be fun, right?

Here are the top five tips to ensure that the planning process– not to mention your wedding day– remain just as fun as those first days of engagement.

bridal-magazines

 

#1. Dream and Enjoy!

Your eyes are as sparkly as your ring, and they should be! Take it all in and bask in it– including Pinterest, magazines and blogs. This isn’t a fact-finding mission, but a chance to think about all the possibilities. Anything that catches your eye, wedding related or not, pin it, tear it or mark it. Every once in awhile see if there is a trend, style, or colors coming through or ideas that stick with you. {image}

weddingtips2

#2. Where to Marry

This is always a for discussion and is the first step in the wedding process. This can also be traded out for “What Time of Year?” but they are related. If you are under specific time pressure, then a place that is nice that needed time of year might dictate a destination wedding. Many couples chose a city or state that is important to them, and this helps decide what time of year. {For example, my husband and I chose to be married in Florida, and Feb/March are the most beautiful, narrowing our window.} There may some compromise here, but once this is decided, everything else can start– and you can see which of your ideas from #1 might really work! {image}

weddingtips

#3. Go Dress Shopping

This is seriously fun and is often kept for later in the process– for no reason! Right away make some appointments, gather your girls, drink champagne and spend a day(s) getting dressed up like a princess. Really, do I have to twist your arm?  Bring some pictures of dresses you like, but be open to new ideas, too. Once you decide what style of dress looks good on your body and fits your style, you may go back to the magazines looking for an entirely different kind of dress than you thought. More reasons to do it early on? Many wedding dresses take at least 6 months to get made/shipped, so give yourself plenty of time to make a decision. Also– the style of your wedding dress may change the style of your big day– it may be more or less formal than your originally thought. So gather your girlies and go do some shopping! {image}

weddingtips3

#4. Engagement Photos

Dress up and be cute with your partner in some of your favorite spots while a photographer follows you around, framing you beautifully. Sound like fun? It is, even if it’s a bit awkward at first. This seems like an easy, not important detail to give up, but we love ours, and still use the engagement photos more than the ones from our wedding. We just look a couple of kids in love, rather than super fancy in wedding clothes. Do it. You won’t regret it.

weddingtips4

#5. Think About What’s Important

This conversation will start you on the path of creating a budget, and you are probably about there. Keeping it context of your priorities will help guide the process of putting your numbers together. After dress shopping, photos and looking at images, you are probably realizing you can’t have everything {even those with luxury budgets}. If your heart is set on a couture dress and crystal glasses, then maybe a smaller guest list is in order. If having all your friends attend is the most important, then location might be the priority, and your budget would need to reflect a larger venue budget, than, say, invitations. Remind yourself throughout the wedding planning process of these priorities to ensure you stay on track, both to stay sane and enjoy, and budget. {image}

So go enjoy! Congratulations! And have fun planning!

Cute as a Wedding Button

When my hubby and I got married, we knew it would be a melding of many worlds. We wanted people to know how they were connected to us, as we would have friends and family from all over the U.S. and the world. I loved the idea of personalized buttons to share their relationship with the rest of the party– but this fell by the wayside with other priorities to attend. No matter— these folks have done it up right {and probably better} using the pins as escort cards, seating cards and favors. Totally adorable! {via Oh So Beautiful Paper}

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons 1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photos by Elizabeth Messina, Calligraphy by Maybelle Imasa-Stukuls and Design by PS Paper via Snippet & Ink

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Button by One Plus One Design

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons 1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Charlene Schreuder, Design by Grapevine Design via b.loved wedding (left), Photo by Grazier Photographyvia Destination Weddings & Honeymoons (right)

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Nancy Ray Photography, Escort Cards by Janine Rae Design via Style Me Pretty

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Matt Murray, Design by Kathryn Murray Calligraphy

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Mavric Photography via Rock My Wedding

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Victoria Phipps Photography via Rock My Wedding

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons 1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Meredith Perdue via Style Me Pretty (left), Photo by Alex Creswell via Green Wedding Shoes (right)

1x1.trans Wedding Stationery Inspiration: Escort Card Buttons

Photo by Samm Blake via Polka Dot Bride

 

Return to Sender

With all of the time we spend making invitations beautiful, or picking out just the right thank you cards, don’t you want the outside of your sent letter be perfect, too?

That’s why I love these gorgeous options for a return address– they give your envelope a personality, a reflection of you, to make it stand out in the mail amongst bills and junk. It’s like a sending a bit of your home to your loved ones. Now if only I lived in an apartment long enough to justify getting one made…

collage-returnadress

Image sources: State stamp/embossed/calligraphy/cat stamp 

Pretty To Do List

I’m working to get myself organized and focused right now. I love how this weekly list is divided up so I’m not too overwhelmed by the list of tasks for one day. This would work for planning a party or every day get ‘er dones.

Download and print this free list from A Pair of Pears here.

things+to+do

 

Annual Birthday Calendar

Do you use birthday calendars? I do. I have a big family, so transferring everyone’s special day to a new date book each year was quite a task. But these birthday calendars let you mark anniversaries, birthdays and other annual events — and they are accurate for years and years.

Even better? This one is free and printable. {click here to print!}

calendar4 Birthday Months {Free Printables}

 

 

calendar3 Birthday Months {Free Printables}
calendar2 Birthday Months {Free Printables}

 

Passport of Experiences

You probably already know that I love travel related things, but this awesome execution by the University of North Texas to take mandatory requirements of education exploration into a passport is just too cool. I love the idea of turning “musts” into something fun and engaging.

Event Planners– and many parents(!)– turn the ordinary into a game everyday. How fun would life be if we all did this? Have to go a trade show and speak to so many people? Turn it into a passport game! Chores to do, or want your kids to do? Give them stamps or stickers for every activity completed! Want your guests to check out a certain number of stations at your event? Give them an incentive to do so!

See more of their beautiful work here.

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